On Umbrella Morals Summary
The essay “On Umbrella Morals” was written by Alfred George Gardiner, who used the pen name “Alpha of the Plough.” It was first published in his collection of essays titled Pebbles on the Shore in 1916.
The author, Alfred George Gardiner, humorously describes a personal experience with umbrellas to explore the idea of “umbrella morals”—a kind of selective honesty where people justify small acts of dishonesty while still considering themselves good individuals.
Gardiner begins by explaining that he was caught in the rain but could not use his umbrella because it was broken and ugly. The reason? It wasn’t his umbrella at all! Someone had taken his good silk umbrella and left behind a cheap, useless one. He imagines the person happily walking with his umbrella, knowingly or unknowingly taking advantage of the swap.
This incident leads him to reflect on people who are generally honest but allow themselves to be dishonest in small ways. These are the kind of people who would never steal money or commit a serious crime but might take someone’s umbrella, keep a borrowed book, or try to cheat a railway company. They comfort themselves by pretending it was a mistake or by thinking that the other person did not suffer much from their actions.
Gardiner gives examples of how people justify their actions. Some take an umbrella from a barber’s shop, thinking they might have accidentally picked the wrong one. Others keep library books and never return them, even though they are respected scholars or religious figures. He recalls how a famous preacher was found dead in a first-class train compartment with a third-class ticket, proving that even seemingly moral people sometimes act dishonestly when they think no one will notice.
He also shares a personal experience with books, saying that borrowing books often means never returning them. He jokes about a man who had a collection of 4,000 books—all borrowed and never given back. Similarly, people sometimes swap hats, and Gardiner himself once lost his silk hat in the House of Commons, never to see it again.
In one amusing incident, he accidentally took a grand umbrella belonging to a well-known politician. When he realized it, he quickly returned it with a letter of apology. The politician was kind and admitted he had no idea how he ended up with Gardiner’s umbrella because he was overwhelmed by the servants handing him different items.
The author concludes that engraving one’s name on an umbrella might be the best way to prevent these “moral accidents.” But as for the broken umbrella in his corner, he is happy to let someone else take it.
Key Points
Author: Alfred George Gardiner (Alpha of the Plough)
Alfred George Gardiner (1865–1946) was a British journalist, writer, and essayist. He is best known for his thoughtful and often humorous essays, many of which explore the small absurdities of everyday life. Under his pen name “Alpha of the Plough”, Gardiner contributed a wide range of works to the British press, particularly in The Observer. His writing typically reflects his wit, moral reflections, and a deep understanding of human nature, making his essays insightful and enjoyable.
Gardiner’s essays often blend humor with profound observations about human behavior, social norms, and personal ethics. He is particularly known for his ability to address complex moral themes with lightness and charm.
Introduction
In his essay “On Umbrella Morals”, Gardiner humorously discusses the small ways people break their own moral rules. Using the example of an umbrella mix-up, Gardiner shows how people often justify these little dishonest acts, like taking someone else’s umbrella or forgetting to return a borrowed book. The essay is light-hearted, but it encourages readers to think about the small things they do in everyday life that might not be so honest.
Structure
The essay is informal and narrative in structure, with a conversational tone. It follows a loose sequence of anecdotes, each illustrating different aspects of the central idea: the concept of umbrella morals. Gardiner begins by recounting a personal experience with a broken umbrella, then expands this to consider the larger idea of small, often rationalized acts of dishonesty. Each section is focused on different objects—umbrellas, books, hats—as metaphors for various ways people compromise their morals in trivial matters.
The essay doesn’t follow a strict academic structure, instead weaving anecdotes with reflections, humor, and personal experiences. This approach makes it more relatable and accessible to the reader.
Setting
The essay is mostly set in London, with mentions of the Strand, the House of Commons, and Palace Yard. The city setting adds to the idea that small moral lapses happen in everyday life, even in busy, public places. The contrast between the busy city and the personal actions helps show how people can justify these small wrongdoings without much thought.
Theme
The central theme of the essay is moral rationalization—how people justify small acts of dishonesty or self-interest in their daily lives, often with little guilt or reflection. Gardiner uses the concept of “umbrella morals” to explore the ways in which individuals justify minor ethical lapses, such as taking someone else’s umbrella or not returning borrowed books. Other themes include:
Self-deception and Conscience: Gardiner examines how people try to avoid facing the true nature of their actions, even when they know deep down that they are acting dishonestly.
Class and Social Expectations: The essay includes references to the House of Commons, noblemen, and politicians, suggesting that even in high-status social environments, small acts of dishonesty are common.
The Absurdity of Small Moral Lapses: Through humor and exaggeration, Gardiner shows that these small moral lapses—though often dismissed or rationalized—are an integral part of human behavior.
Style
Gardiner’s style in this essay is witty, conversational, and humorous. He uses anecdotes and irony to keep the tone light, even as he explores serious moral questions. The essay is self-reflective, as Gardiner frequently includes his own experiences, such as his thoughts on engravings on umbrellas or his mix-up with the silk umbrella. The narrative is playful and uses exaggeration to underline the absurdity of rationalizing minor acts of dishonesty.
The writing is informal and accessible, with a stream-of-consciousness feel in some places. The occasional sarcastic remarks and rhetorical questions contribute to the essay’s humor and its critique of human behavior.
Message
The main message of “On Umbrella Morals” is that small, rationalized acts of dishonesty are common in daily life, but people often justify them with little moral conflict. Gardiner encourages the reader to reflect on these seemingly trivial actions and consider how easily they can slip by unnoticed, even by those who pride themselves on their integrity.
The essay also offers a subtle critique of human self-deception, showing how people can maintain a false sense of honesty by rationalizing their behavior. Ultimately, Gardiner’s message is a reflection on the complexity of conscience and the easy excuse-making that surrounds minor transgressions. Through humor, he encourages the reader to recognize these small lapses and question their own actions in similar situations.
Alfred George Gardiner
Alfred George Gardiner (1865–1946) was a prominent British journalist, essayist, and writer, best known by his pen name “Alpha of the Plough.” Gardiner’s career spanned across journalism, and he became a widely recognized figure in the world of essay writing. He contributed extensively to The Observer and other publications, earning a reputation for his clever and insightful essays that often explored the quirks of human nature, social behaviors, and moral issues.
Career and Influence
Gardiner was particularly admired for his ability to address the everyday aspects of life with humor, wisdom, and a deep understanding of human nature. His writings often blended light-hearted wit with serious reflections on society, making his essays both engaging and thought-provoking. Gardiner’s work was known for its accessibility—he spoke directly to ordinary people, capturing the small moral dilemmas and social hypocrisies they encountered daily. Through his “Alpha of the Plough” column, he discussed a wide range of topics, from personal experiences to broader societal issues, always with a touch of humor and insight.
Writing Style
Gardiner’s style was conversational, charming, and self-deprecating, making his essays relatable to a broad audience. He often used personal anecdotes and sharp observations, showing an ability to find humor in the smallest, most everyday occurrences. Despite his wit, his essays were more than just light reading—they also presented deeper moral reflections and critiques of society. Gardiner’s writing was both engaging and intellectually stimulating, encouraging readers to reflect on their own behavior and the world around them.
Legacy
Gardiner’s essays continue to be appreciated today for their timeless exploration of human nature, social issues, and the moral dilemmas people face in everyday life. His ability to balance humor with moral insight left a lasting impact on British essay writing. His work remains an important part of early 20th-century British literature, and his unique approach to writing continues to inspire readers and writers alike. Through his essays, Gardiner captured the human experience with humor, honesty, and a keen eye for detail, leaving behind a lasting literary legacy.
